As some of you may know, British schools and colleges started up again a couple of weeks ago. And I really dislike school. I am already struggling work wise but I am also finding the social aspects difficult the constant need to be seen as “popular”, but in a way that doesn’t make you look like a social climber. I am already so done with it. One of the reasons I hate school so much is because of situations like one that happened a few days into school:
I was sitting down with my friends for lunch. I was in a long-sleeved top due to the fact that I hadn’t shaved my arms in 6 months and literally couldn’t be bothered to do them the night before- even though I had nothing else to do. (Yes, I admit that I’m lazy). Anyway, someone asked me why I wasn’t wearing a t-shirt so I said ‘I haven’t shaved my arms’.
Apparently I must have said something completely weird, because immediately I had half the year coming over like “um that’s is so strange” “why do you do that?” “literally no-one shaves their arms”. Um hello. In case you didn’t realise, I am brown. And that means that I have dark hair, and not just on my head. Everywhere. I was always that kid in junior school photos with the very visible monobrow.
What these girls clearly didn’t understand was that if I don’t shave my leg/arm hair off then I will get funny looks from girls in school (who judge me for being hairy) which just makes me insecure. And clearly if I do shave off my arm hair I will still get funny looks- because it’s obviously not a normal thing to do. I can’t win.
What really annoyed me was one girl who went “I have soooo much arm hair and I don’t shave it off!”. Some context: her arm hair is BLONDE. You can’t see it!!!! It just irritated me that she acted like we were both in the same situation.
It made me realise that because of pressures put on us in society, the majority of women/girls have gotten into a pattern of feeling like they have to shave/wax etc. in order to feel “normal” and “pretty”. Not shaving just leads to feelings of insecurity because you feel “hairy and ugly”. At least that’s what I felt. So when my younger sister got to an age where she started to notice the difference (hair wise) between her and her friends, I advised her to not remove her arm and leg hair. I said “Once you start, you can’t stop”. And for me, that was true. (She didn’t listen to me, but it was worth a try)
What I wanted my sister to understand was that there shouldn’t be any pressure to remove hair. You should remove it as a personal choice, not because you are worried about what people would say. Men don’t. If a man in shorts was walking down the street baring hairy legs, no-one would ever say anything.
Just like your fingers and your toes, your hair is essentially a part of you. Don’t treat it as a problem or an ugly feature. You don’t have to love it, but try to accept it.
And over time, maybe you will embrace it. (I am still working on that)
February 25, 2017 at 9:59 am
OMG I can completely relate to this! I’ve got a load of hair on my legs and my arms and they are dark and I’ve got brown skin too. I don’t shave my arms though but I do shave my legs and I just started doing that recently even though my mom told me the same thing you told your sister but she said “if you start now when would you stop?” but I didn’t listen. damn.
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February 25, 2017 at 10:05 am
Exactly! Now I feel like I’m stuck in this cycle of constant shaving 😦
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February 25, 2017 at 10:11 am
I know right!! damn sometimes I just decide not to. I guess the real reason I started was because most of my mates were constantly telling me how I had too much hair and I should shave.
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February 25, 2017 at 10:25 am
I feel so bad for you- what kind of friends say that?! In winter I’m fully covered anyway so there’s no point in shaving. My friends were nice enough that they didn’t really comment on mine, but a lot of them don’t like body hair in general, so it’s just easier to get rid it.
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February 25, 2017 at 10:28 am
yeah yeah there was this one annoying friend who just kept commenting the funny thing is that he was a guy and guys actually have loads of hair so he shouldn’t have even been speaking.
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February 25, 2017 at 10:31 am
that is seriously even worse, because some girls are even more affected by what guys think then other girls! They should be trying to stop the problem, not encourage it.
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February 25, 2017 at 10:40 am
exactly. I guess in a way I feel that guy wasn’t trying to be rude or anything I guess he genuinely thought what he thought and just said it.
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February 25, 2017 at 10:52 am
exactly, I think some people honestly see saying that normal because that’s what they’ve grown up with
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February 25, 2017 at 10:55 am
I guess so. They don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.
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March 8, 2017 at 8:20 pm
This absolutely made my day 😩 mostly because I am dark skinned and people in middle school always made fun of how hairy my arms and legs were. I would desperately shave all the hair off my arms and legs just so I wouldn’t be laughed at. I’m so glad I finally don’t care about it. Lol I’m finally at peace with my hairiness 😂
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March 8, 2017 at 8:23 pm
Hahaha I feel you! I’m so sorry to hear that you got made fun of, people can be horrible and cruel 😦 but on the plus side you have a great blog! I just followed it 😊
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March 8, 2017 at 8:39 pm
So do you✨ I was on a bit of a binge reading your posts actually 😂 love finding great content and even greater people 🙂 xx
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March 8, 2017 at 8:41 pm
hahaha I’m glad you like them! you are seriously such an amazing writer xx
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December 29, 2017 at 7:20 am
as a girl should i shave my arms? I mean it is nice to be hair-less. As a woman, I have always liked the feeling of smooth arms or legs, etc.
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December 29, 2017 at 11:56 am
this is a question I asked myself for such a long time. Honestly, it comes down to why you want to do it. Do you want to shave because you want to do it for yourself and it makes you happy? OR are you doing it because it’s kind of expected of you from society/ it would make other people happy etc. ? If you’re just doing it for yourself- go for it! thanks for commenting 💙
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