soooo I don’t think I mentioned it, but my sisters getting married woop woop!! he’s a really nice guy and I’m super happy for her and excited that she’s starting this new chapter in her life, but to be honest for a while I really felt like she was just leaving me behind. Stupid, I know but I do tend to overthink everything (because of anxiety stuff) and this is one of them.
It’s strange sitting with her now because I’m desperate to try and have so much fun so I can feel like I got the most out of having her around while she’s still living at home. Given she knows about my blog and she reads it sometimes, I flipping hope she doesn’t read this because then she’ll just get gassed and get big-headed and nobody wants to see that
It’s strange having someone else enter the family and become a part of everyone’s lives. I’m still not used to it, because the first few times I met him it was super cool, because I only have sisters, so the idea of gaining a brother wassomething I was excited about. But after the engaging now all I’m thinking is that this guy basically symbolises change, to be honest. I don’t really mind change most of the time- I’ll just go with the flow and YOLO it. But in this case, I don’t need or want change, which is super selfish I KNOW but I’m indulging myself for a few days before I actually get my brain in gear.
It’s strange thinking about what will happen when she leaves. I have 2 other sisters, but I’m closest to this one. I basically tell her everything and she’s helped me a lot with my anxiety. It will be difficult to adjust to the idea that she isn’t a few seconds away anymore and I can’t just waltz into her bedroom and rant or cry or (most of the time) just sit there and ramble on about something. She was basically a live-in therapist for me tbh and I’m not okay with my therapist leaving because that might mean my anxiety getting worse.
ANYWAY that felt really good to write because now I feel this huge weight of 1 billion emotions has just gone!! It may not seem like it, but I am actually really really happy for her (and her fiancé, who is very sweet) :))))